I'm Destroyed Already

First off happy 2007 to everyone. I'm happy everyone made it into the New Year safe and in one piece.

I've seemed to not start mine on the right track but I had some fun nonetheless. I guess that's all that matters. I'm all scatter brains right now but I'll tell ya'll how my weekend went. Brace yourselves, it's a long one.

Friday- First off, I had to go to work. Enough said.

When I split from work I decided to take my car into the shop to get inspected. Let me just say that my Taurus is going to be the death of me. I knew this car wasn't going to pass inspection but I took it into the shop like I had a Mercedes Benz and shit. I left it there and dude gave me a call at home and was like, "This car isn’t passing this inspection". I had to laugh at the way he said it. What ended up happening?? I had to slip homeboy some extra duckets so he could trick his computer into passing my car for inspection. Yea, I'm good for another year but every time I start my car I'm polluting our environment. Give me a minute while I attempt to give a damn. I know I should but I'm struggling to right now. The silver bullet is not making it into 2008; I already know this. I've been really thinking about a brand new car but that's another story, better yet another post.

Later on that night, the festivities began. I did a little pre-gaming at a friend’s house. It's always in my best interest to be at least tipsy before I hit my destination. It makes the night go smoother for me. My best friend was driving tonight so I figured I could get inebriated, if need be. We met up with some of my friend’s associates and I was less than impressed. My buzz was gone after the introductions. That's about how the rest of my night went too. The club was wack, the music was wack, hell the whole night was wack.

Moving on to

Saturday- I made it up to take my car out of the shop. Slapped two c-notes on the counter and almost gave myself a coronary. I hate parting with my money, even when it's something I really want. Anyway, the rest of the day was pretty chill until I took my nap.

I get up from my nap and I'm in my ready, set, go mode. I start blasting "You Don't Have to Call". Even though the night before was a wash I was certain tonight was going to be better. I get dressed, making sure I look and smell good then I’m out the door. I had to go pick up my best friend and her girlfriend. I've never met someone who is so quiet in my life and honestly that scares me. Her girl laughs at just about everything I say but that's the only peep she makes. No words, no nothing. I told my best friend, I certainly hope she talks to you more than she does to the rest of the world. Anyway, this night isn’t about her, it's about SHAQ. So we get to our destination. The line was ridiculous and I was a little antsy. I hate lines. Truth be told, I'm a little impatient. I don't get ridiculous and show out but I still hate lines. We finally get in and I'm checking out the scene and I like it. Didn't take me 10 minutes and I was at the bar. I drank my dinner that night but I was composed. I was glad I was 'cause I spotted someone who made me do a triple take, if that's possible. I really broke my neck. I would make a long story short but I feel like typing so here goes.

It took an hour and a half of looking, staring and acting like I wasn't looking in her direction for me to get enough nerve to say something. So I make my way to the other side of the club. Eye contact is there and I’m thinking, YES SHAQ IS IN. I stood there for a minute looking around like I didn’t come over there to talk to her. Then I tapped her on the shoulder. When she turned around I turned my head like it wasn’t me who tapped her. She didn’t cop an attitude so at least I knew she could take a little joke. I asked if I could buy her something to drink but she pointed to her bottle of water and said that's all she was drinking tonight. Cool, it's whatever. I made some more small talk and asked what her name was. She told me and I responded with mine and told her it was nice to meet her. The place is loud and packed but I'm doing my best to find out things about her. All I got was that she graduated from NYU in December, she was 22 years old and she wanted to go to grad school. She originally is from Detroit and moved to NYC to go to school. Cue the music

How can I manifest her uniqueness in vernacular??
Like a chocolate Candi Bar
Yea that describes her

By this time I'm on cloud 9 ya'll. I’m not much of a dancer when I’m sober so I’m just making a little more small talk. Times like this I just like to stand around and laugh at all the hot messes that management let enter the club. I was making her laugh some and she kept telling me, “That’s not nice”. She kept laughing though so I guess we both were going to hell.

It' was about 3 a.m. and her and her girls decided to split. I asked if she would mind if I gave her a call sometime (I'm so corny with it, ya'll) and she dropped the math. Now that was the highlight of my Saturday night. The low-point of it...*drum roll please* I LOST MY MOTHERFUCKING CELLULAR PHONE!!!!!!!!!!! From the point of putting it in my pocket and getting in the car I lost that shit. You should have seen me back tracking trying to look for it. I could have cried, matter of fact I almost did. HER NUMBER WAS IN THAT CELL PHONE AND I LOST IT!!! I would have given anything to lose the sidekick and not my cell phone that particular night. But wait, there is more. While I was looking for my cell phone I didn’t see the parking ticket that was on my windshield. When the search was over for the phone I got in the car and looked down. I see the orange envelope and I immediately got out the car and kicked my foot so far up in the air my sneaker came off. If I wasn’t so mad I would have laughed at myself but this shit wasn’t funny. Who writes a $115 ticket at 4:20 a.m. on Sunday morning? THE FUCKING NYPD, that’s who. Ya'll I was so mad I shut down for the whole night. Didn't say a word to anyone. The five words my best friends girl says to me are, "Damn Shaq, that's messed up". I wanted to pull over and tell her to walk the FDR Drive because her two cents were not needed at that particular time. I got home and went to bed mad as hell. Why did my night start so nice and have to end up like that?? What did I ever do to deserve this? Why must I cryyyyyyy???

Sunday- I woke up in the shittiest of moods because of the shenanigans that took place the night before. I’m looking at the ticket on my bookcase. I’m looking at my phone charger, where my phone should be. Then I’m thinking about girl I met earlier. I don't even know what borough she lives in. No last name either, just her first. Ahh well, by the mid-day I just had to let it go. I fucked that up and it was time to look forward to New Years.

I didn't leave the house till about 1 a.m. My best friend was in church bringing in her New Year and I respected her for that so I hung around until she was ready. It was pouring cats and dogs out there by 12:30 and I almost stayed home. It took a lot of strength to get dressed and want to leave the house. I told a home girl of mine I would stop by her party for a little bit. We get there and it's a lot of strange folks there but it was still ok. My home girl was drunk as hell and I didn't even know she drank liquor. Looked like she was having too good of a time. We had to leave sooner than expected because someone had a little too much to drink. This guy and this girl were sitting on the couch and I think they were dry humping. No matter of fact, I think they were having sex. I wasn’t too sure ‘cause they both still had clothes on but I didn’t want to stay any longer to find out.

We left that party and hit up a club in Brooklyn. Wasn't the brightest of ideas but to travel into the city was just a waste of time. I made some phone calls (ON MY SIDEKICK, WHICH PROBABLY COST ME 5 BUCKS) and tried to find out where the best place to be was and there is where we were headed. The place didn't close until 8 a.m. so getting there at 3:30 didn't matter. Folks were acting up like it was 12 am anyway. It was just my best friend and I, and I tried for her to be on her best behavior but she wasn't having it. Her girlfriend wasn't with us and she was acting up. Long story short, I ended up driving home by myself because Ms. Superstar walked somebody else home, in the rain. The chick had an umbrella so I looked at my b/f and said do what you want just call me when you get home. I'm glad she walked her home because the girl she was talking to wasn't getting in my car. I was not trying to make any extra stops on my way home because it was still pouring out there. I made my way home at about 6 a.m. and I open the door and my cat is sitting on the living room table. Like that shit is a chair or something. She didn’t even make an attempt to jump off. My cat doesn’t even respect my authority. Isn’t that some shit??

It’s now Monday evening about 6 pm and I’ve been asleep just about all day. I have to get my mind right for work tomorrow. I'm still here thinking about my phone too. I have to call Sprint tomorrow and go through this insurance shit with them now. I'm not even sure how much the deductible is but I guarantee it's some ridiculous amount of money. Everyone in the U.S.A knows that Sprint isn’t worth two red cents. I feel a swing of emotions coming on right about now. I'm going to go make myself a cup of tea to calm my nerves. Why tea, you may ask. Whilst running around in the rain acting like a fool I caught a cold. I’ll tell you this; next year I’ll be having a Rockin’ Jockin’ New Years with Dick Clark and channel 7, ‘cause I am not going anywhere!!!