Wednesday, December 6, 2006

Off to a great start.

A day after I make a post about how laid back and cool I am. I really am people, trust me *I’m typing this while the devil horns are rising from my head*

The week was kind of off to a good start until this morning on the motherfuckin L train. Getting back to the swing of things on the train takes some time. I haven’t commuted on the train into the city in nearly two years. I made an upgrade and decided to spend $10 a day to get to and from work was worth it. Now, I just don’t have the time to wait for the express bus so I decided to commute on the train.

In the morning it’s routine for me. I throw on my headphones, turn my ipod up as far as it can go and close my eyes. I’m not sleeping but I’d rather close my eyes because there is absolutely nothing to look at on a crowded train. I don’t want to get caught looking in someone’s face so I’d rather just go that route. I open my eyes this morning to see what stop we’re at and this man is eating his sandwich and drinking his coffee all while holding on to the rail. It gets better; he’s eating it while standing over me. We’re about two stops away from 14th street so I’m up now. All of a sudden this big ass cream cheese crumb lands on my gray pants. I’m going to work so you know I don’t have a pair of jeans on. Grey pants that I’m going to have to send back to the cleaners sooner than I would have liked to. I got this big ass white stain on my thigh and he’s just looking at me. I look back at him and asked him did he not think that came from him. Fuckin’ idiot. He gives me some napkin that had a coffee stain on it. I told him to keep it. I am not a morning person so doing something stupid first thing in the morning is reason enough for me to curse you out. The train was jam packed and I didn’t want to cite a riot so I let him go without a verbal lashing. My question is what re re eats breakfast in the middle of rush hour standing up on a jam packed train?

Let’s see how the rest of my day goes ‘cause every time I look down at my thigh I get reminded of the train. It looks like someone skeeted on my pants. DAMN IT!!!!!


Anonymous said...

I was on the & train once and this lady decides she's gonna stand right next to me smelling like hot ass onions and curry! I don't even think that bitch knew what deodorant was! (she didn't look homeless or anything... she just didn't use deodorant.) I looked at her and gave her that "damn, how could you not know you smell look."

This bitch had the audacity to give me the Pon De Forehead staredown and sucked her teeth!

I blacked out, once again, and told her she needs to go wash her ass and handed her three dollars to cop some deodorant. We were arguing for about three stops! It was like C&D live on the train! People were clapping and shit! Everybody was in that bitch crackin up!


S.K. said...

jerzey girl I can't believe you did that. LOL.

but the trains are no joke the other day this man was reading from the Bible, saying I'm the M****F***ing Son of God ya'll better recognize!!!

Mail Order Girlfriend said...

^and you didn't bust out laughing?? The downside to drowning myself in my ipod is that you miss classic material like that. ONLY IN NY!!

Coco LaRue said...

Since I started my new job two weeks ago, I have to take the slow-ass ONE train to work every morning.

So, on Thursday morning, around 103rd Street, I go to sit down and some raggedy-ass heifer puts her hands over the seat and says to me, "Sorry, guy. I'm saving this seat for my boyfriend who is getting on at 86th Street. You'll have to sit somewhere else."

So, I smiled politely and turned my iPod and folded my paper and said as nicely as I could: "Then give him your seat. Now, you better move your hands, lady, so I can sit down."

I guess I'm not a morning person.

Mail Order Girlfriend said...

No Coco, it doesn't matter what time of the day it is...foolishness is foolishness.

I've seen people get on the express bus (which costs 5 bucks) and take up an extra seat for their bag. This isn't the train lady, you better move that bag. I didn't see you dip your metrocard twice, therefore that bag goes either on the floor or on your lap. People can act so ignorant at times.

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